


A few ship kids complain about how horrid their parents are (which, fair point.)

by Parspicle



Series: theoretical Percy Jackson au [1]
Category: UTMV
Genre: Gen, Not Actually A Fic it's just like. a parody lmao, hi im parse and when I get bored and find a new musical I make ship kids start RIOTS, ship kids or fusions yk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parspicle/pseuds/Parspicle
Summary: "The Campfire Song" is a song from The Lightning Thief: Percy Jackson Musical. This is a parody of that song.I made my own ship kid, Champagne (ink/lust child), to fit this fucking song i hope you enjoyPaperjam is 7goodangels's, Gradient is combo club's, Domino is Lollzida's, Palette is Angexci's, Dexter is Onebizarrekai's and Champagne is mine!I might turn this into a full au because oh my god there's hundreds of shipkids and i LOVE THEM ALLalso the original musical is good go listen to italso please feel free to make your own verses for your own kids?? i adore all of them smh
Series: theoretical Percy Jackson au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732129
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	A few ship kids complain about how horrid their parents are (which, fair point.)

**Author's Note:**

> "The Campfire Song" is a song from The Lightning Thief: Percy Jackson Musical. This is a parody of that song.  
> I made my own ship kid, Champagne (ink/lust child), to fit this fucking song i hope you enjoy  
> Paperjam is 7goodangels's, Gradient is combo club's, Domino is Lollzida's, Palette is Angexci's, Dexter is Onebizarrekai's and Champagne is mine!  
> I might turn this into a full au because oh my god there's hundreds of shipkids and i LOVE THEM ALL  
> also the original musical is good go listen to it  
> also please feel free to make your own verses for your own kids?? i adore all of them smh

PAPERJAM (spoken)

Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow

GRADIENT (spoken)

Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?

Is the food here really that bad?

PAPERJAM (spoken)

Offering to the gods. It's not enough that their omnipotent and all-powerful,

they need to feel _appreciated_. To the gods!

ENSEMBLE (spoken)

To the gods!

PAPERJAM

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the multiverse

ALL

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the multiverse

PAPERJAM

My dads are rivals,

They destroy and create

You'll know their signs by his paint and those strings

I'd wait by the phone, but the phone never rings

Oh no

[ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement]

When your dads’re gods, life can be tough

I met the two once, and once was enough

(spoken) Domino?

DOMINO

My dads’re dolts

Not so smart and not wise

 _He’s_ sworn off gluten and _he_ constantly cries.

But if they came to camp, it'd be a surprise

Oh no

PAPERJAM AND SERIF: Oh no

Oh, and my uncle, he hates me, and beats me in battle

So I left the sphere and I ran away

GRADIENT (spoken) Wait, is that true?

PAPERJAM (spoken) Everybody!

ALL

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the multiverse

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the multiverse

PAPERJAM

Alright, who's next?

Pallette (spoken)

Oh! Okay, let me see...

(sung)

My dad’s a _dreamer_

God of delight

He gets excited when soft hearts ignite

But painting and painting and painting’s a blight

Oh no

ENSEMBLE: Oh no

(spoken) Right?

(sung)

For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car

I got a fern in some sparkl’n mason jar!

DEXTER (spoken) Ooh, ooh! My turn!

(sung)

I'm a child of Cross

God of exiled

For those who love nature, they're often beguiled

He's not really my dad, but I'm _sort of_ his child...

Oh no...

ENSEMBLE: Oh no

He went for a hike to explore new frontiers

And no one has seen him for _thousands_ of years

ALL

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the multiverse

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the multiverse

GRADIENT (spoken) Classic! Who's your dad?

CLASSIC (spoken) Oh, well

(sung)

My father is Toby

Remember my lecture

He ate his children.

  
  
  


PAPERJAM (spoken)

Classic wins!

[ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement]

How about you Champagne?

CHAMPAGNE

The gods ‘f love ’n ink,

My dad’s Aphrodite,

He tries to be cool but mainly he’s flighty

I'll bring home a boy, and he’s there in his _nightie_

ENSEMBLE Oh no!

(spoken) It's so embarrassing, guys!

(sung)

I tried to seek help from even the fates

Cause he steals my mascara and _all of my dates_

PAPERJAM (spoken)

Alright Gradient, it's your turn

GRADIENT (spoken)

If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche

PAPERJAM (spoken)

Oh, we're all friends here. Come on, give it a shot

GRADIENT

My dad was named Gaster,

He loved scary movies

And food that was blue

And-

PALLETTE (spoken)

He's doing it wrong!

CHAMPAGNE (spoken)

Yeah, who's your godly parent?

GRADIENT (spoken)

Oh... I don't know

PAPERJAM (spoken)

It's alright! A lot of ship kids never know their parents. Just give it a try

GRADIENT

So my r’l dads’r some god

That's great I guess...

Did they not want me? Or not want the stress?

Too bad they’re the worst, and my life is a mess. Oh no

ENSEMBLE cheers

I hope they show even a trace

Cause I got some choice words to throw in their faces!

ALL

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the multiverse

Oh, things couldn't be worse

PAPERJAM

But I don't care where our parents may be

As long as you are here with me

ALL

We don't care where our parents may be

As long as you are here with me

As long as you are here with me!


End file.
